Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
