Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
