You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
