fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Even my vagina gasped.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
