So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
