69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
As shirtless as possible
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
