Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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