Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sarcasm needs its own font
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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