on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
