Can Purell be used as lube?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
