I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
