He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
