I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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