I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
