if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
