My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
