oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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