Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
