I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
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