i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dick very happy bro
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
