Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
