I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
