great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
