wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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