I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
