It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
