highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
