Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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