Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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