i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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