it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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