Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
