I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
