I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
