Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
