went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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