belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
