She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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