i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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