We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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