I think my fart just growled at me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
