he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
