hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize