If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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