my vag is so smooth its legendary
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
