she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
