So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize