it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
