Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
