remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
