Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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