you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My ass is underappreciated
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
