"it" just moved
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
