Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
