that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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