I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
