I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
