Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
