Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize