i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
