She's JV to your varsity
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
