yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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