I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He shit in the fireplace
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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