just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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