Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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