I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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