dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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