God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
